Blame No One

Have you ever experienced a major inconvenience in your life and the first thing you do is blame yourself or others? I am absolutely guilty. One mishap and I am already calculating different scenarios in my head on how I could have had a better outcome.

Whether the situation deals with school, work, or relationships/friendships, I look for something or someone to blame instead of just accepting that it is what it is. Now, as a spiritual person, I believe there is meaning behind everything but, believing there is meaning behind everything done does not mean it is my responsibility to find that meaning. I spend days in my mind reminding myself I could have done better in a particular class or of my mistreatment of others but, it doesn’t change what has already been done. So rather than focusing on the now and what changes I can make for the future, I stay in the past with experiences that have now turned to memories. I cannot live like this forever, so I made some adjustments.

I can no longer beat myself up for things I can no longer change, period. I can though, adjust to the changes I currently want in my life. An example would be experiencing a bad ending with your friend or partner. It would be easier to just get up and get a new friend or partner and more difficult to take time to yourself to practice self-care and working on bad habits you may have had during the relationship. You may wonder how this affects your character and how people may view you, but that is not your problem. Your best bet, is to make the best change for yourself without concerning your thoughts with the opinions of others. The less you care about how people view you, the more room you leave for you to speak for and know yourself.

The example can also apply to school or work. You may not have put forth your best effort in the past, but that does not mean that you are dumb or lazy. Our memories do not go away, at least many of them don’t so if they are going to come up, use them accordingly. Don’t allow your past experiences to stop you from moving forward, allow your experiences to guide you to the right path. It is okay to remind yourself that some things could have been avoided or handled better in the past, but there is a positive in knowing you learned something out of the experience moving forward.